- Get to know who they are; not who you think they are
- See them from a place of abundance; not their perceived insufficiencies
- Pay attention to what they offer; not what you wish they would offer more of
- Know thyself, heal thyself, grow thyself; and don’t expect them to do it for you
- Be a whole being attracting another whole being; not someone seeking their other half
We all know the idea of someone showing up and fill in the gaps in our lives where we feel incomplete or lacking; is total BS right? This is the same mindset that suggest we should be looking for our other half. Two half people do not equal one; just two people missing something and seeking it from the other.
We often point out what the other is or is not missing, is doing or is not doing as a reflection of what we lack within ourselves. In other words we all got our checklists and red pens ready to scrutinize right? I don’t know about you but I’ll pass on that. In our frustration, disappointment and limited self love we cast aside person after person because they don’t have a certain thing we seek to make us feel a certain way.
It is one thing to realize from an aligned space within ourselves that a person or opportunity is not in our best interest. This is an empowered place to live from. Nothing feels missing or broken that we need someone else to bring us. We are just clear, in a third eye kinda way, about the direction we are steering our souls journey and who feels aligned to share each part of the journey with us.
Now I know you and I don’t do this but many human beings stay polarized on finding someone to balance out what they feel they are missing rather than finding balance within themselves. “I just wanna meet somebody who makes me feels…I just wanna find someone who treats me….”. We make demands of people to change and present themselves in ways that keep us feeling comfortable. That’s what we call a manufactured experience; and many seem perfectly content living in one.
People should change and grow authentically because they feel within themselves the calling to lean further toward personal growth. When someone is not expressing the desire to change anything about themselves then maybe this isn’t the season for change in their lives. We can accept that or let them go free to be themselves.
Treating them as wrong, insufficient “not up to our standards”; or all the other ways we tend to comfort our disappointments; only serve to foster more of a feeling of aloneness, lack and endless searching for more. We can gain so much for our personal growth by noticing our vibe around disappointment and hurt.
Have we just started expecting it? Do we have demands and complaints for our loved ones? Are we kind and understanding that our partner/s are human just as we are? Do we ask questions or just believe the stories in our head? Do we communicate to our best or leave them guessing and wondering what’s going on?
Having specific preferences about a partner can be a healthy frame for setting intention and inviting that which we desire to materialize more concisely. Another thing to consider is if our preferences stems from a place of lack, perceived insufficiencies or life conditioning. Do they stem from a place of self knowledge and wholeness?
We each are more than deserving of a love that catapults our experience here on earth. That only comes from beings who are in a state of wholeness and fulfillment within themselves first. When beings that are whole and self-actualized unite there are no gaps, no sacrifices to be made and there is ease and flow. It is a beautiful dance that allows each of us to flourish authentically; not “needing” anyone else to show up in our world to move mountains; but to just be there, enjoy each other and bring more beauty to what’s already there.