Looking for Love in All the Right Places
Since the first people began to walk the earth we’ve always sought connection. Though at that point the consciousness of man was already connected through a true sense of community, connection to self and connection with spirit. As life has evolved and humans have advanced in technology, science and in Western culture “quality of life”, we’ve seen ourselves moving forward but often less connected. Even with social media being the thing that is supposed to connect us more from far distances we often find ourselves separated by class, race, or not being able to live up to what we are supposedly trying to connect with. So how do we find our way back in this vast world with so many diverse ways of connecting and little to no actual connection that allows us to explore and understand one another? How do we experience love, fulfillment and connection while trying to navigate the social network of life?
We often spend so much time teaching others how to love us, seeking out networking groups to “find our tribe”, go on date after date just seeking something we already have the ability to experience on our own. I decided I wouldn’t put anymore boundaries or specifics on how I experience love. Many of us live with a conditioned mindset about love; and there lots of literature suggesting that there’s different types of love. The is just one love, whether we call it the love of God, Lagos, Philadelphia, Agape or whatever; it’s all love. It may manifest differently in it’s expression but there is only one love. I started to realize that in times where i felt alone or invisible and overlooked the thing I was seeking was always right there all along. We talk about what the world needs is love. The world is love, people are love, everything that exist is and originates from love. Some years ago I read a book by Bell Hooks, “All About Love…New Visions. Very transformative read that has significantly shifted the way I approach love.
What if I told you that some of life’s greatest mysteries, “ who am I, how can I be happy, how do I find fulfillment in life,” can be solved by tuning into the love that surrounds you. Would you think it’s just more airy fairy jargon or does something about that awareness make you wanna discover more? In our society we have separated love into a category much like: finances, health, spiritually, relationships etc. What keeps all these areas flowing is love. Whether it be love for your craft, love for a significant other, loving a pet, loving the experiences in life money affords you to have; love is all and in all. For me I just simply needed to stop categorizing love and understand it doesn’t show up it’s just always there. I just needed to tune in more and allow love to do what it does best, elevate my life and bring joy, fulfillment and happiness.
Do you spend most of your time trying to fix something about yourself to make you appear more “acceptable”, chase love in a relationship or pursuit of one, or look for love in all the wrong and maybe sometimes the right places? I gotta tell ya I’ve spent considerable time “looking for love”. I know I’m not the only one who’s felt the pain of being the only single person at a gathering, another exhausting business venture, felt unsupported by loved ones in various ventures, or even just felt unlovable as I looked around at what pop culture says is in, desirable, hot or attractive. We base a lot of what we feel and experience about love on what our individaul communities deem to be an acceptable expression for “someone like us.” The answer to all those endless cycles is this, accept love as it shows itself to you.
Perhaps you have friends offering to help you with some simple task and you’ve been feeling unsupported but you keep telling them “no I’m fine. Well knock it off and just try yes. Maybe you keep getting invited to connect with a person or group that’s just a bit out of your comfort zone so you keep saying no while still looking to connect. It doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything but at least be openminded to the fact that love doesn’t always present itself in a manner that aligns with our level of comfort. So maybe just explore and see the ways love keeps trying to get your attention. I’ve often prided myself on being self sufficient, which is supposedly the ultimate mark that you are adulting correctly right? Well people with just a little bit of wisdom understand that though we express ourselves individually we are all still part of one big organism; and that organism knows how to provide everything it needs for itself; including love.
The thing about love is mainstream media has constructed this idea that love is about romance and connecting with people you have things in common with. Love is about how you relate with yourself, your family, business associations, fellow man, and so much more. Because we are one organism we are all connected to everything else in that organism. Love is like the circulatory system that keeps everything nourished, healthy, and thriving. If you ever feel a since of lack in any areas of life ask yourself am I allowing love to flow in this area or constricting it? What are some of your biases or judgements about love? What causes you to block the flow of love? See we don’t need to compartmentalize it into categories or checklists.
My decision to just experience love as it comes has allowed me to look more intentionally at people and situations I engage with and see things for what they are. It’s helped me to stop chasing so many dead end opportunities that leave me feeling more alone and unlovable and in turn pursue opportunities that empower me and expand my life experiences. And while even in an ideal scenario we still can’t escape some of the challenges in life; love offers clarity of sight and an inner knowing that no matter what we are more than just ok. Everything stops being and matter of crisis and rejection. I’ve spent so much time trying to control how people behave, how I behave, my image and how people see me; and all so I could feel love, security and some sense of “doing it right”. When we let go of control we gain power. Power that comes from alignment with love brings with it an inner knowing, a feeling of connection confidence and even peace when we’re not sure. We gain power in how we go about life. over our thoughts, power over our experiences and power to understand, act and live from a more abundant, fulfilling state of mind.
What area of your life are you feeling unloved, unsupported, unworthy, unhappy or unfulfilled? Wherever we can identify the lack we can often look back at how we’ve resisted or put up barriers to loves entry. Allowing love to flow as it comes will give you a broader and deeper insight into some of your deepest longings, pains, pleasures, passions and insecurities. Living in love offers clear vision, improved health in all sense of the word, and it provides an internal GPS that helps us navigate life without feeling lost and alone so much. Letting love in is about expanding and building your relationship with love itself. Give it a try and let me how taking limits, boundaries and sometimes even personal preferences off love helps you experience how love elevates your life.